


More Wary About the Height Thing

by Kallimax



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 09:45:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kallimax/pseuds/Kallimax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post "FZZT," Simmons isn't as okay with living on the plane as she once was. Unfortunately, she and Fitz don't quite realize that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Wary About the Height Thing

Fitz might complain about no longer being at Sci-Ops, but he actually rather liked living on a plane. He’d made sure to get a bunk with a window. That way, when they were at a low enough altitude or when the night was particularly clear, he could press his face against the window and stare down at the pattern of lights below.

It was a special treat because they flew over the ocean more often than not, which just wasn’t as interesting. So whenever they were flying over cities at night, Fitz dragged Simmons out of the lab and into his bunk where he could stare out of the window to his heart’s content.

He knew Simmons had never found the lights as fascinating as he did, but she indulged him and he loved her for it.

So he didn’t particularly think about it when he hurried down to the lab some weeks after the virus incident. “Simmons,” he exclaimed. “The lights, the city.” She looked over at him, raising an eyebrow, and he tried to calm down enough to get the words out. “We’re flying over a city. Come on.”

He’d already turned away, taking her acceptance for granted. He didn’t see the way she paled at the words or the fear that swept briefly across her face. “I’ll be there in a second,” she called after him, and if her voice was a little shaky, Fitz didn’t hear it.

It took her longer than a second, of course, to join Fitz in his bunk. His face was pressed against the window when she entered. “Simmons,” he said, voice slightly muffled by the glass. “Where have you been? You’ve nearly missed it.”

She hesitated just a second before crossing the room to sit on the bed.

He looked down at her from where he was kneeling for optimal lights viewing. “Don’t you want to see?”

Simmons smiled up at him. “Not tonight, Fitz.”

“But we’re almost past, and we won’t get to do this again for ages, I bet,” Fitz said, tone dangerously close to whining. He pressed his face back against the window.

“I can wait,” Simmons said.

“That’s just silly,” Fitz exclaimed. “Who could wait to see a view like this? Come on. You’re missing out.”

Simmons glanced toward the window but quickly looked away. She shifted on the bed but made no move to get closer to the window. “I’ll be okay, Fitz.”

“No,” Fitz said, “you won’t be. It’ll be months and months until we get to do this again, and you know it. Just one look, yeah? It’s really clear tonight. I bet you can see for miles.” He didn’t see the look of irritation that crossed over Simmons’s face, but he heard her long-suffering sigh, which he knew meant she was about to give in. 

“All right,” she said. “Just one look.”

Finally, Fitz pulled himself away from the window and the lights and sat down on the bed. He’d seen enough tonight, and he liked to watch Simmons watch the lights. She wasn’t usually as excited as he was about them, but the sight still made her eyes light up.

But this time, this time her eyes didn’t light up. They just went wide.

It took Fitz a minute to notice, and later, he would curse himself that it had been too long, far too long. He should’ve known.

“Simmons?” he asked quietly. The naked fear on her face scared him into almost a whisper. “Is something wrong?”

She didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge him in any way, just kept her gaze on the window. Fitz glanced outside and didn’t spot anything out of the ordinary, but when he looked back at Simmons, there were tears streaming down her cheeks.

And all of a sudden, it hit him. The conversation she’d had with Ward about heights, the tumble from the plane. He was such an idiot.

“Simmons?” he said tentatively. She didn’t respond, and he could feel panic rising in him. He reached out and slid the cover down over the window. She still didn’t move.

“Jem,” he said. “Jemma. Can you hear me? It’s Fitz. It’s Leo, Jemma. You’re okay. I’m right here.” He started to reach for her hands but thought better of it, stopping the motion after barely brushing her fingers.

Suddenly she was moving. Simmons grabbed his hands in hers and held on tightly, almost painfully, but Fitz didn’t mind. He was just happy she was responding.

“You’re okay, Jemma,” he said. “Just breathe.”

They sat there in silence for a long time, Simmons gripping his hands and Fitz watching her anxiously. After what felt like hours to Fitz, Simmons whispered his name. She took a long, shuddering breath.

“I’m right here,” he said and squeezed her hands gently.

She looked at him then, all watery eyes and pale cheeks, and she smiled. It wasn’t anywhere near her usual bright Jemma smile, and it broke his heart.

God, he was such an idiot. He supposedly knew her better than anyone, and he thought it was a good idea to have her look out the window when she was having trouble with heights and planes? He let go of her hands, wanted to leave so he couldn’t hurt her anymore, but Simmons held on tight.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked out when it became apparent she wasn’t going to let him go anywhere. He needed to try and make amends somehow. “I shouldn’t’ve – with the window and the plane and the virus. I should’ve known, Jem. I’m so, so sorry.” He looked down at their entwined hands as he tried to blink the tears out of his eyes.

“Oh, Fitz,” she murmured. “It wasn’t you. It’s my fault.” And when he tried to protest, she added, “I didn’t have to look, Leo.” She squeezed his hands.

He looked up at her and gave her a shaky smile. She gave him a firmer one back, but he could still see the fear in her eyes.

“Guess I wasn’t strong enough yet to look out a window,” she tried to joke. “Silly old Jemma.”

“Don’t say that,” he protested. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

She smiled at him like she didn’t quite believe it. “Fitz,” she said then paused. She took a deep breath. “Can we just sit here a moment?”

“Of course we can, Simmons,” he said. He squeezed her hands again, and she squeezed back.


End file.
